Ev Ehrlich's Everyday Economics

Taking the Sheen off the Candidate

The Presidential candidacy of actor Martin Sheen, in the role of Josiah Bartlett, was broadsided today by claims that Sheen's Vietnam-era heroism in the role of Military Officer Benjamin Willard was based on false information. Opponents of Sheen-as-Bartlett have appeared to publicly dispute the oft-cited account of wartime valor so central to his campaign - that, in the role of Willard, he was captured and imprisoned by renegade Marine Colonel Walter E. Kurtz in the back jungles of Cambodia. Specifically, they claim that the story of Colonel Kurtz dropping the severed head of a comrade into the lap of Sheen-as-Willard as he lay shackled and helpless never happened.

"I was there," said former Gunner's Mate Third Class Lance B. Johnson. "There was no head."

Johnson, who left the service in 1969 and to pursue a successful career as a professional surfer, is now the lead spokesman for a group of former Vietnam intelligence officers called Military Intelligence Officers For the Truth. "I was on the boat that went up the Mekong River with Sheen-as-Willard in October of 1967. If there was a severed head, I would have known it."

Sheen-as-Willard's heroic narrative, a centerpiece of Sheen-as-Bartlett's campaign, holds that, as a young military officer, he ventured into Cambodia on a top secret mission to terminate the allegedly deranged Colonel Kurtz "with extreme prejudice." He was promoted to Major after the mission. Gunner's Mate Johnson's assertions, if substantiated, would cast grave doubt on the veracity of Sheen-as-Bartlett's account.

The accusation gained further momentum this week when it was supported by retired Lieutenant Colonel William Kilgore, a flamboyant former cavalry officer who knew both Sheen-as-Willard and Johnson in Vietnam. "The head story’s a load of crap," said Kilgore, now a retired oil executive, when contacted on his estate outside of Houston. Kilgore also noted that Sheen had displayed wartime cowardice in the role of Private Eddie Slovik. “How can Sheen-as-Willard be a hero when Sheen-as-Slovik was a coward? It’s just another flip-flop,” the former helicopter commander said.

But Sheen-as-Bartlett supporters contest the new allegation. “This is a standard campaign smear,” said an unnamed campaign aide. “It’s just like when they claimed that President Ronald Reagan-as-George Gipp was on steroids.” They also note that Kilgore, who has been a major source of financial support for Military Intelligence Officers for the Truth, has been a long-standing ally and fund-raiser for Sheen-as-Bartlett's election year opponent. "These Texas oil guys are all tied to Rove," said a senior campaign official. Moreover, they note that Kilgore was one of the senior officers who originally endorsed Sheen-as-Willard's version of events when they were first noted during the war. "I never saw the report," Kilgore now maintains. "I probably gave it to an aide to sign, particularly if the surf was up that day."

As proof of the veracity of Sheen-as-Bartlett's story, campaign aides are pointing to the testimony of former Lieutenant Scott Glenn as Richard M. Colby. Colby, now a news editor in Chicago, also served as a military intelligence officer in Vietnam. Colby had previously been assigned the mission of eliminating Colonel Kurtz. But when he found the Colonel, Colby joined Kurtz's cult-like following of thousands of Montagnard tribesmen. Cobly was rescued by Sheen-as-Willard as the future Presidential candidate escaped from the remote highland compound after slaying the demented officer.

Colby's whereabouts were unknown for 35 years until he unexpectedly appeared at a Sheen-as-Bartlett rally during the Iowa caucuses and embraced the candidate. "I owe this man my life," Colby said then, fighting back tears. "If it weren't for Martin Sheen-as-Willard, I'd probably be wandering around in a loincloth somewhere in Kampuchea. Or worse."